Franks And Weenies

I had a dream where Matt, Eli, and myself were at a fair/arcade. We were looking for a game to play, when we came upon one that only cost a quarter. It was an over the shoulder flying game where you directed a bunch of triangles through a cave. Matt put a quarter in and found that it was a two player (turn based) game, so I too put a quarter in as well. Matt started to play. He was zooming all over the cave, when Eli (Who happened to be outrageously drunk) bumbled in, and took over. This is where I got angry, because Eli sucks at most video games. I tried to wrestle Eli away from the game, but he's a big guy so it didn't really work. Amidst the chaos I had time to consider how much of a bummer it was that Matt was missing his turn. It was now that I woke up. This dream happened a few days ago, and I'm still kinda angry at Eli because he ruined Matt's turn, and I never even got to have my turn. I also used one of my dream quarters and never got anything for it, and who really even knows how much money I carry around in my dreams. I could have something like 3 bucks, and now I'm down to $2.75. Eli is a goddamn bastard.

My Three Sterns

I was thinking it might be fun to get Howard Stern, Daniel Stern, and Richard Stern together for a luncheon. They could go on some offbeat ironic adventure, where they blunder upon a bunch of slapstick nude lesbians failing at breaking into metaphor.

Aunteater

I made myself a drink and it's god damn disgusting. I also made a sandwich. It's a good sandwich, not the best, but good enough. Thank you world for providing mediocrity.

Dang Doodle Dang

My thousand year slumber has come to and end. My thousand year search for Pop-Tarts begins.

In With The Bad

Shouldn't we have more crisis' in our lives? We get a midlife one (buy a Ferrari), but I want a quarter life crisis as well (buy a Vespa), and maybe even a 1/10 life crisis (buy some Heeley's).

Down By The Bay

Is it a crime for me to send a body part through the mail? Is there an added sentence for the criminal who mails a bloodied finger stump? These are the somethings I need to know.

Just Add Thyme

Ah, to be in the living room. The room of many living things. I am in such a room that living takes place. I would talk about the bathroom, but no baths take place in said room.

Fish-Net-Worth

I head off tomorrow for a study of many things. It will take me through the wide wilderness that is outer Boston. I shall become a cog in the great American medicine machine. My life will have meaning, and purpose. I am a hero to all that know PK-796.

Quality Tips Indeed

It looks like things are really starting to heat up down here.

Sci-Ants

Today I will learn things! The learn will happen today!

E Veils

Tomorrow I battle the unholy demon people. I shall return with veggies and chips.

Booker T. Was Here

Some people take showers in the winter to warm themselves up, some take 'em in the summer to cool themselves down. I fall firmly in the latter category. Discuss amongst yourselves.

A Sheep Dish Pizza

As it happens, things are not always as they may seem. I will tell you (YOU) all the things that are full of different. These are the foodstuffs that you will hear, and read, and live, but you will not know.

Imagine a dog wearing sunglasses driving a convertible, you will never encounter anything more hilarious...unless you're a dirty dirty cheater